Disneyland
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We all have places to go when we need refuge, when we need to feel safe. My first place was with my aunt Mary, a major childhood place of safety. There was safety in books. I learned to read at three, and have no memory of not reading. Discovering the Oz books, Aesop’s Fables, and the Bible, these were places to go to before understanding why. And movies. My dad loved movies, he raised me on movies, I would stay up to watch a movie at two in the morning on television. Later, you could find me regularly at all the revival and art house movie theaters in town.
My aunt, books, movies, are all places of the heart and mind. These were places to be safe and comfortable, but looking back on my life, there was one location I could go to feel safe.
And that is Disneyland.
I can hear you say, But it’s only an amusement park, but it’s a commercial business, but it’s a manufactured corporate environment. All true, but books and movies are no less manufactured and commercial, certainly corporate.
Here are stories of Disneyland.
Disneyland opened when I was two, and I have no memory of going at that age. My dad used to take me to the live steam engines in Griffith Park. I was three or four when we met Walt Disney there. He was a large scale model train enthusiast. He asked a train full of children, How many of you have been to Disneyland? Only one other kid and me had been.
He was talking to us and someone asked where Mickey Mouse came from. He asked us kids to follow him and took us to a little utility barn. He said, That was once my garage and that is where Mickey Mouse was born.
We went to Disneyland a lot. The admission price was low. Every year I was given a choice of a birthday party or Disneyland, I chose Disneyland. And when my El Paso family came to Los Angeles for their birthdays, we often went to Disneyland.
It’s hard to name what my first memory of Disneyland is. They used to fly model airplanes on tethers, and shoot model rockets, and a guy would fly in a jet pack in the middle of Tomorrowland. I remember the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride, which was actually the sets from the movie itself.
I remember Captain Hook’s ship, sponsored by Chicken of the Sea tuna, which was actually a little lunch counter where you could get tuna sandwiches. Walking the gang plank to get into the ship was special.
There was the Welch’s Grape Juice stand. The walls were painted with characters from the Beethoven segment in Fantasia. I may remember the Matterhorn being built. The Indian Village was where Tianna’s Adventure ride is now, the only remnant of it is the canoe ride. I still mourn The Country Bears. The Carousel of Progress, The House of Tomorrow, The America the Beautiful 360 screen, The Flight to the Moon, and the Trip to Inner Space, which still has bits remaining. The Penny Arcade, only the sign remains. The show at The Golden Horseshoe. So many other things are gone and I miss them.
My Dad and Brother
When Mario and I were kids, my dad would take just the two of us to Disneyland. Back then the admission price was very low, $1.50 I think it was for a while. Then they sold ticket books that had 5 values of tickets for various rides. The most famous ticket was the E ticket which got you on the better rides. Mario and I discovered that the cheaper tickets often went unused and people would throw them away or would give them to us. Then we’d ride the cars up and down Main Street and the boats around the river and the raft to Tom Sawyer Island, all cheaper ticket rides.
We got into some mischief. We figured out how to get off rides in the middle. There was a place on Pirates where we could get off the boat and wait for another. We found a door that opened to the roof of the castle. We could get off the Alice ride and walk among the flowers. We got busted there and it was sternly explained to us how really stupid we were being.
While Mario and I were wandering Disneyland, my dad would park himself either at The Hub, that round park area with benches where Main Street ends and the various Lands begin, or at a park, still hidden there according to Google, that was behind the Storybook ride where Disneyland ended. My dad would find a bench and read his paper.
We were to check in with him every hour. One time, we were in line on the long line at the Matterhorn and it was obvious we were not going to get back to my dad on the hour. So my brother, who was eight or nine, ran from the Matterhorn to the hub to check in. He got there, looked around, didn’t see my dad, decided that he wasn’t there and ran back up so as not to miss the ride. The thing was, my dad was sitting right in front of him. My dad never let go of this. For decades, when my brother was inattentive or absent minded. “It’s just like you at Disneyland.” He could be unfair.
This next story is difficult to write. After Mario got to be about 10, my dad would just drop us off at Disneyland and pick us up later. He was always late, so we had ways to keep ourselves occupied until he arrived, maybe a half hour, or an hour. But this one day, I was about 16, Mario about 12, he dropped us off in the morning and said that he had to pick us up at 6:00. He had to be somewhere and we couldn’t keep him waiting, (as if we ever did), and he would pick us up at 6:00 sharp. So we were there at 6, waiting.. We waited, it became 7:00. We waited. It became eight. We waited. It became 9:00. I remember the look on my brother’s face when we could see the lights from the fireworks on the buildings across the street, but we couldn’t see the fireworks. My dad showed up at 9:30. We were upset. Then he said something that I have never been able to let go.
“When you saw I wasn’t going to be here, you should’ve just gone back in.”
I think that was one of the most inconsiderate and rude things I’ve ever heard. Of course if we had gone back in at 6:30 when we thought he wasn’t gonna be there, he could have shown up at 6:45. How would we know when to come out? How would he have reacted after his big you must be there at six shit.
As I say, I’ve never been able to let go of this. It wounded me.
Talking about this with Sarah this morning, she gave me a little insight.
As I mentioned earlier, Disneyland was my safe place, Disneyland was where I could go. With this disregard for our time and feelings, my dad threatened that place of safety.
That was the last time he dropped us off, I said never again. For a while I went less often. I rode my bike there once, went on the bus once or twice, I went with my cousins and friends.
I don’t have a lot of clear memories of Disneyland with all my El Paso family, although I know it was great fun to be there with them. I do have very clear memories of my cousin Alonso. On the Matterhorn, on the long incline up, Alonso stood up and liberated a bit of fiberglass stalactite. He showed me how to do magic tricks when I was 9. Every visit to Disneyland, we would go to the magic shop on Main Street. I love that place, but most people have never noticed it. The shop disappears. Even today, the shop is filled with all kinds of devices, tricks and magic, and magic tricks from very simple practical jokes, to serious professional magician equipment. Alonso and I would go in and we would look around and we would ask for a trick to be performed or ask for the guy behind the desk to demonstrate a trick for us. You might be amused that on a couple of occasions the guy behind the counter was the comedian Steve Martin. Of course he wasn’t a comedian then, but he was funny. We often bought whatever the magician behind the counter performed for us, and we would buy one for each of us. I kept those tricks in a special box, but I have no idea what happened to that box. What happened to the box? It disappeared! Not many years ago I went with all the kids to Disneyland and I took them all into the magic shop and I asked for a certain trick to be demonstrated, and I bought the device for each of them. I don’t think any of them have ever practiced the trick.
Drama at Disneyland
This happened around 1970. It’s one of the few times that all of the first cousins were together, that is, the Bakersfields, the Fontanas, the El Pasos, and Mario and me.
The El Pasos took us all to Disneyland. It was a wonderful time. I remember going on various rides with various cousins laughing and having a good time. At about sunset, it was announced that it was time to leave. Everybody started groaning. My cousin Danny gave me a few hundreds and said that I should get souvenirs for each of the kids.
So we all went into the Emporium and I told all of the kids, If you see something you like, bring it to me and we’ll buy it for you. The Bakersfields at first chose little simple things. I encouraged them to get bigger things.
I don’t remember how much each kid could spend, but it was very generous. Once they got the idea of what they could get, it was a lot of fun and at one point, we monopolized one cashier.
After they got their loot, I would tell the cousin to go and meet The Parents right outside that door, which was the south entrance by the City Hall bathrooms. Then there were no kids left. Everybody had their souvenirs. We all went outside. Parents took whoever they were going to take, and some of the Bakersfields went back to Bakersfield.
The rest of us went back to my grandmother’s.
Much later in the evening, we got a phone call from the Anaheim police. One of my aunt’s sisters got a call from the Anaheim police saying that they had a little lost boy. It was 8 year old Charlie, who by the way is now a prison guard. He was able to remember the full name of one of his relatives. The Anaheim police got Bakersfield information and contacted them, who contacted my aunt, then they contacted my grandmother. So, someone had to go pick up Charlie. I don’t think I was invited to go, because I was blamed for losing him. In fact, whenever I get together with a Bakersfield, this story comes up.
So, true or not, history will forever show, that I lost Charlie at Disneyland.
Disney Music
At the end of Main Street there is an upright piano. I’m not at all sure what age I was, but I found a guy there playing Scott Joplin ragtime. Until then I thought that kind of music was only possible on a player piano. The only word to describe me was enchanted. Whoever I was with had to pull me away.
I saw the Pointer Sisters on a stage on Tom Sawyer Island.
I saw Stevie Wonder playing in Tomorrow Land.
There were others, but I’ve forgotten.
Over the years I’ve spent many hours listening to the barbershop quartet The Dapper Dans. And I’ve seen dozens of them Dans.
In the mid 80s Disneyland had a series of performances that was small versions of the famous big bands performing on a small stage in Disneyland, now used for the princess stuff.
Thea was around three. My dad really wanted to go to 3 of these programs.
The first one was Cab Calloway. We went with my brother, and we all went to eat dinner at the hotel, and we missed the first set. It was during that first set that he played Minnie the Moocher. But we went for the second and third sets. After the second set I took Thea off to ride on the carousel, and when we came back, my dad was talking to Cab Calloway. They were reminiscing and laughing and having a time.
The second program was Count Basie. We saw his first set, and it was wonderful. I left to take Thea on a ride, and when I came back, my dad was sitting on the piano bench with Count Basie, talking music and reminiscing about venues.
I don’t remember the third concert, I think it was a small version of the Goodman or Dorsey big bands, and there isn’t a story.
Louis Armstrong and a trio played on the Mark Twain Riverboat. 9 year old me sat on the step of the bandstand and listened to the music just feet from his feet. More to than story on page 38.
There is always such music at Disneyland
The Disneyland annual pass went on sale before Thea was three. That first pass was $65. When Thea was three and Hana was 6 months or so, I had to go to Disneyland for an Anything That’s Legal project, and the fee I charged paid for most of Thea’s pass and a Goofy hat for her. Thea also loved the parades and we would go just to see them.
Years later, when Sarah and I were low on funds, I went once a month with each kid and Sarah. I bought the passes one at a time to spread out the cost.
Since I was a kid, when I saw someone taking a photo of their family, I offered to take the picture of all of them, then ask if they would take a picture of me with their family. Then I started sneaking into pictures, photobombing. I’ve done this a lot at Disneyland, I try to do it every time we go. Someday someone will recognize me from a relative’s photo album.
There is something that happens mainly at Disneyland that makes me very happy. People wave. Strangers wave to strangers. I’ve liked waving to people all my life. Even when someone waves on TV I feel compelled to wave back. As a kid, I waved to truck drivers, to other kids, once to Mel Blanc driving next to us on the freeway. I liked waving to drivers behind us while riding in the way-back in my dad‘s station wagon. But at Disneyland, so many people return a wave, and so many people wave first.
There were times of hurt and anger when I turned to Disneyland.
Of course there were many more happy visits and memories with children and friends and family over the years. And so many only-at-Disneyland moments with cast members and fellow visitors.
So many more memories and stories, but I this is nearly enough.
Here are three last stories. These are emotionally important to me.
Just before the pandemic, I thought it would be interesting to try going to Disneyland using the metro and the bus. Maybe it would be easier, more economical, or an adventure. (It wasn’t ) So, I found myself at Disneyland alone. It’s not the same alone. Sarah and I have been together half as long as Disneyland has been alive. It’s possible I’ve been with Sarah to Disneyland more times than I have in the first half of my life. Disneyland was not nearly as fun without Sarah.
After listening to the Dapper Dans, I was on my way out. I stopped for a while at the flag pole. I was having so much fun watching an outrageous Cruella Deville character. She was loud and obnoxious, in enormous red shoes, teasing people. Then I saw an angry father yelling at his two kids, especially his early teen daughter. It was ugly. Cruella physically put herself between the man and his daughter and swooped the girl away. She showed the kid everything in the area. She took her into Disney City Hall and got her buttons. The girl was so happy. Cruella turned an ugly unhappy family situation into a joyful Disney experience that the girl will never forget.
I teared up then, and I'm tearing up now.
Disneyland advertised for the Christmas season that after the fireworks there would be snow falling at Disneyland. Sarah and I were at the hub where the snow was promised. After some beautiful fireworks and Disney Christmas light show, the announcement came that the snow would fall. We were standing with thousands of people.
No one moved. No one was breathing.
Snow started falling.
Those thousands of people burst out in such a joyful moment together.
For Megan‘s birthday in 2025, Max, Megan, Eve, Sarah, and I went to Disneyland. It was Eve’s first time and Megan hadn’t been since she was little. So special seeing Disneyland through Megan and Eve’s eyes.
I told Eve that we could go to Mickey Mouse‘s house and would she like to go, she said yes. She and I walked in the front door, and she did not stop to see the house or all the real life cartoon furniture. She pulled me through as if she had been there a hundred times. When we got to Mickey’s backyard, his garage, we found the end of the line to say hello to Mickey. Eve got in line and was very patient as we waited, even though it was never explained to her that we were going to say hello to Mickey Mouse.
Finally it was our turn and we went in. Mickey fussed over her and the helpers took pictures and it was great fun.
But then something happened. I think Mickey saw it in me. He stepped up to me and gave me a very solid handshake then a hug. I teared up. One of his handlers came up, and she gave me a hug. They didn’t rush us out. The rest of the family left the room, and Mickey’s assistant walked me out slowly and had her arm around my shoulder. By the time I walked to the front of the house I was weeping.
Fully Verklempt.
Happened again a year later with Eve, and Megan said she felt it too.
And again with Zephyr.
Telling a friend about it, she said she also got unusually emotional.
I have been wondering what that emotion is that overcame me.
Someday I’ll figure it out.
“After the rain, the sun will reappear.
There is life.
After the pain, the joy will still be here.”
Walt Disney