Questions
Amusing questions from the television
Colbert Questionert
1. What's the best sandwich?
Pastrami and chopped liver on Kaiser roll with a Cel-Ray
2. What's one thing you own that you really should throw out?
Receipts
3. What is the scariest animal?
At the zoo, through a window, a very large tiger looked at us with total hate.
4. Cats or dogs?
Dogs
5. What was your first concert?
Spike Jones
6. Apples or oranges?
Apples
7. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
Local talk show hosts Moss and Thurman, and Stan Worth, who also did music for Super Chicken, when I was 12.
8. What do you think happens when we die?
Consciousness fades away, energy goes on
9. Favorite action movie?
Stars Wars, and all the satellite bits as well
10. Window or aisle?
Window still is magical. Aisle if peeing is called for. Middle the worst
11. Favorite smell?
Natural smells of reasonably clean people, babies, nostrils, Sarah
12. Least favorite smell?
Shit and death. Most perfumes
13. Exercise: worth it?
Yes, but easily overdone
14. Flat or sparkling?
Flat
15. What is your earliest memory?
Being carried by my dad while a tenant paid rent.
16. Most used app on your phone?
Jacquie Lawrence advent calendar
17. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life. What is it?
Genius of Love, Mozart Requiem, Solace (Joplin)
18. What number am I thinking of?
Yes
19. Describe the rest of your life in 5 words.
Curiously, learning, confusion, forgiveness, peace
Questions from Bernard Pivot,
French talk show host
What is your favorite word?
Confluence
What is your least favorite word?
Moist, nasty
What is your favorite drug?
Alcohol, curiosity
What sound or noise do you love?
Children playing
What sound do you hate?
Bad music, miserable children crying
What is your favorite curse word?
Shit. A most versatile word. So many meanings and uses
Who would you like to see on a new banknote?
Jimmy Carter
What profession would you like to attempt?
Research scientist
What profession would you like not to attempt?
Law enforcement
If you were reincarnated as an animal or plant, what would it be?
River otter
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You were right.
Pivot question additions by James Lipton on Actor's Studio
What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
Other people's enthusiasm about what turns them on creatively, spiritually, and emotionally
What turns you off?
The Art World. Art speak. Jargon,
Belligerent ignorance